In My Blood
by CanYouHearMyMusic
Summary: When Tris completes Initiation, she feels liberated. She's made it through and gotten the top spot. Now its the hard part: surviving Dauntless without Tobias. But hopefully there a knight in dark jeans to help with that. This is an EricxTris story. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When initiation ends it doesn't feel like i thought it would. Yeah, there's elation and wonder, but there is also fear. Fear of what comes next. Fear of how Four will react when I tell him. Fear of how the entire faction will react when he inevitably tells everyone.

When he walks up to me, I know its time. When he gets to me, I nod toward the door and head out. Its too loud in there to tell him. To loud for him to understand.

"What's wrong Tris?" he says, concern forcing his eyebrows into a straight line over his eyes.

"Im sorry." I say

"Sorry for what, Tris? You got first!"

"I don't think we should stay together." i say steady looking at the ground. I don't want to see his eyes fill with hate. I don't know if i could bare it.

"What?" he says

"I think i was drawn to you cause you reminded me of home, but this is my home now. I cant have a safety net anymore. I cant lie to you, because I do care for you, but I don't think we can be anything more than friends."

He takes a few steps toward me, until I can feel his warmth. He grabs my chin and forces me to look in his eyes, "Is that really it? Or is it that now that you have first, you don't need me anymore."

I try to shake my head but he's holding my chin too hard for me to move, "No! That's not it. You have to know that that was never it. Please Tobias."

He looks at me with barely contained disgust. He really thinks I used him. I guess I sorta did but I didn't mean to and definitely not in that way. Because being here would mean nothing of I didn't earn my place myself.

He pushes me away from him roughly and shakes his head.

"Don't ever call me that again. Matter of fact don't call me anything ever again. I never would have thought that you were this kind of person."

At this point Im curled into a ball against the wall crying. I knew this would be his assumption but it hurts so bad. Worse than I thought it would. All I can think is that Tobias- Four - hates me.

I don't know how long im on the floor before I feel someone nudge me with their foot.

"What are you doing on the floor Stiff? You do know the party is the the dinning hall right?" his cold voice makes me shiver. Eric is the last person i want to deal with right now. But a part of me deep down is almost glad. That part must be freaking insane because Eric is not the type of person who will understand this.

"Im just not much in the mood for a party I guess." I say while trying to wipe the tears from my eyes. Initiation may be over, but that doesn't mean that showing weakness around Eric will have a different outcome.

"So you in the mood to cry in this hallway instead? I don't think I've ever seen you more pathetic, Stiff. And that's saying something."

With everything happening right now, I guess my emotion aren't completely under my control. Next thing I know, I'm standing and yelling at Eric. All I can hear is the word pathetic on repeat in my head. All I can see is the disgust in Fours eyes.

"You know what Eric?! I didn't ask for your opinion! I don't care what you think, especially since you didn't bother to ask what's wrong! The only thing that seemed to go through your mind was, how can I make the sad girl feel worse! If you have nothing productive or helpful to the situation, then say nothing at all and leave me the fuck alone!"

By the time I finish, I start to realize what am awful mistake I just made. He's a leader and a cruel one at that. There is no way I'm going to get away with yelling at him like that.

Just as I open my mouth to...I don't know apologize? I guess that what i should do, to protect myself from his wrath more than anything.

"That took guts, Stiff. Never would've thought you had the guts to yell at your leader like that. Don't know if I'm impressed or pissed." he responds. His eyes change from cold to amused and my insides do a flip. I'm not sure if its fear but that is probably the safest assumption. I mean, what else could it be?

"I don't care how you feel about it. Your not my instructor anymore and I don't need to fear you as much as before. So if we are done I need to get back to my friends." I force the fear of talking back to Eric down my throat into the depths of my stomach. If I show fear, he will never leave me alone. He will always see me as the little, weak Abnegation girl who doesn't truly belong here.

Soon he has be backed into the wall, his mouth against my ear. I suppress the shiver that threatens to shake my entire being as he whispers in my ear,

"You should still be scared. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

This sends excitement to the core of my belly. This should terrify me, but I want him closer. Closer than having his entire body pressing me into the hard stones of the wall?

No, you're just imagining it. Being upset because of Tob- Four has skewed your judgement.

"Eric, get off me."

I put my hand on his shoulder to push him away, but Im not strong enough.

"How about you make me, Stiff? Cause you're Dauntless now, right? First ranked and on the path to leadership? Can you push me away? Do you really want to?"

Before I can formulate a answer, even in my head, footsteps come crashing down the hallway. Faster than I thought possible, Eric flies away from me. Wearing a confused and slightly dazed look, he stares at me for a long minute then walks away. As he walks away, my head spins as I look at his retreating back.

What the actual fuck just happened?

Did Eric seriously just push me back against the unforgiving stones of the compound? Did I seriously like it? Whatever losing To- Four has done to me is making my head all foggy. It must be because the thought of liking Eric anywhere near me is insane.

Taking a deep breath, I smooth my shirt and walk back into the dining hall. Soon Uriah runs up to me and lifts me into his arms. A laugh breaks and I thank whatever gods there are for giving me friends like Uriah, who make me feel so much better without even trying.

"We made it, Trissy!! We are official Dauntless now!" He yells in my ear.

"I know, Uri! But honest to God, I wont be able to enjoy it if i lose my hearing." I yell back into his ears, making him swiftly place me back on the floor.

"Sorry, Trissy. But I am so happy. We all made it! I told you you had nothing to worry about."

Before I can reply, Christina and Will run up to me. When they reach me, they clasp hands and I silently mourn the loss of Tobias before forcing a smile and hugging them both.

"I am so proud of us. We are Dauntless now!" I say excitedly as we part.

"I knew we would. We are too awesome not to." Christina says, smiling at me.

Even if I feel like my entire world just got flipped upside down, at least I have my friends. Im not alone. Everything will be okay because Im not alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I can't sleep. Today I learned my rank; tomorrow I pick my job. The job I will have for the rest of my life. My new life in Dauntless. I finally earned my way.

I can't sleep. Everything is going well and I'm so excited about what comes next. I'm so terrified about what comes next. What comes next? What do I do?

I can't sleep. I can't think about anything except for the life altering decision. What do I do? What do I pick?

Obsessing over the decision won't make it any better. I decide to take a walk to clear my head. I wonder around the compound until I end up at the Chasm. I don't normally like being here, it reminds me of Al and I can't stand to think about him, but tonight it calms me. I don't know how long I stand there staring into the Chasm before I hear a voice.

"Don't jump, Stiff." Eric calls from behind me, but I don't bother turning around. The railing squeaks as he leans against it. He isn't real close, but he isn't far. I can smell him. He smells like smoke and danger. I don't know why that makes me want to lean in.

"What do you want, Eric? I don't have the mental capacity to deal with your bullshit." I reply without thinking. It takes me a minute to realize that Eric could pick me up and throw me over the railing or make me hang for disrespect, but I cant live my life afraid of him. Afraid is no way to live.

_Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up._

I rub my forehead to try and wipe Four's words from my mind. I can't think about him right now.

"Saw you staring into the void and thought you could use some company. I would hate to help them pull your lifeless body from the water."

Eric states, nudging my shoulder. I think this is his attempt at a joke, but I don't really have it in me to laugh or try to understand his motives or sudden change in attitude.

"Well, I'm not thinking about jumping so don't worry. Besides I'm so small, it wouldn't be a lot of work to pull me up." I say.

"That's not the reason I don't want to pull your body up, Stiff." Eric replies. He doesn't say anything else.

_Why are people so damn complicated?__ Just when I thought life couldn't get more confusing, Eric pops up acting not at all like Eric._

After a long minute Eric says, "why are you out here so late? Shouldn't you be sleep?"

"I could ask you the same question. What's our almighty leader doing wandering the compound so late at night?"

Eric surprises me with a real answer, "I do this sometimes when I cant sleep. Or when I cant stop thinking. The compound can be peaceful when its quiet."

It takes me a minute to respond.

"I'm worried about picking my job tomorrow. I'm worried about what my life here will be like. I'm worried about making the wrong choice. I'm worried about losing Tobias. I can't close my eyes without seeing all these different paths in front of me with no idea which to chose."

I didn't mean to say all that. Once I started, I just couldn't stop. And Eric definitely didn't need or want to know all of my business.

"Tobias? You call him Tobias?" Eric asks and it takes a minute to realize that I just slipped up and called Four Tobias in front of Eric. Wait-

"How do you know his name?" I ask.

"We were in the same initiate class. I knew him before he was 'Four the Legend'. The better question is, how do you know his name?" Eric looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

I shrug and look away. It takes him a minute, but eventually he lets out a small gasp. Now I just wait for the inevitable question. To lose everything I've worked for.

"You two were...together?" he asks. I nod. I cant quite place the emotion I hear in his voice.

"And now your not?" his head tilts. There's a completely different emotion now. I nod again and he thinks for a minute before he says,

"I'm guessing Number Boy didnt take to well to you dumping him? Well, I cant do anything about the other things that are upsetting you. You're in Dauntless for a reason, you're first for a reason. Trust in your instincts and I'm sure you will pick the right job for you. No matter what, you just need to feel solid in your choice. But I may be able to help with Four." he says and I look up at him.

"How?" I ask and he dips his head and stares into my eyes.

"Stiff, I'm going to offer you some advice. Four is hurt. He's already a wounded puppy and you probably make him feel stronger- braver. But you can't let someone else's unhappiness rule your life. Maybe Four will get over it, maybe he won't. But either way you handled it the best you could. Just take some comfort in that."

It takes me a minute to wrap my head around Eric, of all people, saying this to me.

"Thank you." I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nods. "People are gonna start flooding here to get to work soon. You might wanna head back to the bunks."

He turns quickly and begins to walk away when I grab his arm to stop him.

"You-I- Why didn't you ask me if I used Four to get a better rank? Everyone else will think that." I ask.

"Because I know real strength when I see it." he replies before walking away.

My heart is racing and my face is bright red, I'm sure. For some reason, Eric calling me strong was like him calling me beautiful. I wasn't real sure if it was true, but it not me up from the inside to hear.

I take a shaky breath and run back to the bunks. I slide underneath my covers and take deep breaths to calm my nerves. I feel like my body's on fire and I can hear Eric's voice in my head.

_I know real strength when I see it._


	3. Chapter 3

When Christina wakes me up, I was about ready to hit her. I didn't get anywhere near enough sleep. I guess roaming the corridors of Dauntless has its consequences.

"Girl, you have to get up.We have to pick our jobs today and you might wanna shower before its time."

I sigh and nod before slowly making me way out of my cot, thanking any god available that this is my last night sleeping in a cot, and grab a relatively nice shirt and jeans to wear for today. After a quick shower, I rush to the Pit where the ceremony will be held and sit in the 1st chair. Uriah is already sitting in his seat right next to mine. Now that im sitting here, I get nervous. Not for me but for Will and Christina.they are both under the top 5 and will most likely end up as guards. Life fir the Wall Guards is tough.They work long shift and stay at the Wall for weeks at a time. I hate that I get first pick of jobs while my friends get the scraps.

Eric soon stands up and clears his throat to get out attention. Of course it did nothing because Dauntless is too loud to hear it. I see Eric take a deep breathe and prepare for what follows.

"Shut up and sit down! Now!" Eric yelled. His rich baritone rang through the Pit and everyone quickly did what they were told. Tris had a new found appreciation for Eric's voice and his command in certain situations.

As Eric spoke, Tris' thoughts wondered off to the choice she had to make. She knew what she was choosing, but she wasn't sure about the backlash that might follow. She wasn't sure of how her friends would react. However, she also knew she couldn't let other people dictate her life choices.

"The initiates will be on a probationary period in their new jobs. They have 2 weeks to fully experience and train in their chosen job. At the end of those 2 weeks, they will have a choice to change occupations if there is room elsewhere. Chose wisely." Eric said before stepping back for Max to continue where he left off. As the head leader, Max would oversee the rest of the ceremony.

"Tris," Max calls out, "as the first ranked initiate, you will pick your job first. Above my head is a list of openings. Everyone will chose from the list. Tris will come up and announce her choice and they as she walks away Uriah will come up. This will happen until everyone has picked. Tris come on up now."

I took a second to look at the list. It was just like the board with their rankings.

**Faction Leader- 1**

**Faction Ambassador- 1**

**Nurse- 2**

**Control Room- 2**

**Tattoo Artist- 1**

**Cook- 1**

**Janitorial- 2**

**Gate Guards- 2**

I take a final breath and walk toward my future. I step up in the platform, the Chasm behind me in all its terrifying glory and yell out my choice,

"Faction Leader!"

There are a few nods and some surprised looks. My friends look bewildered, but I didn't make this choice for them. I made it for me. I nod at Max and walk off the platform. I stand near the back and wait for the rest of the ceremony. Since there are only 12 of us and 12 jobs the ceremony goes quickly.

Uriah picks Faction Ambassador, Lynn and Peter choose Control Room, Marlene and Christina pick Nurse, Will chooses Cook, Lex and Anthony (Dauntless born initiates I don't know) both get saddled with Janitorial and, as the last 2 ranked initiates, Drew and Molly end up as Gate Guards.

When the ceremony ends, Max steps forward again.

"Congrats, new members. Your lives in Dauntless start now. You will all go to your respective occupation leaders who will tell you what time you need to show up for work in the morning. You will move into your apartments tomorrow after your work shift. Molly and Drew are to pack all their belongings and prepare for the 6 am train to the Gate. They will stay there for the whole 2 weeks and will not be allowed to change jobs."

Max tells us who we are supposed to meet to get information on our jobs and keys to our new apartments. After that we chant the Dauntless manifesto and break to find our respective leaders.

I walk, trying my hardest not to shake, up to Max with Uriah in tow. He needs to talk to the current head Ambassador, Veronica, who is standing with Eric. They look...cozy. A strange feeling causes my body to boil from the inside out when I see how close they are standing and Veronica's hand on Eric's arm.

_No. You don't have time for strange emotions. Focus on the task at hand._

As we walk up to Max he yells, "Veronica get your ass over here and talk to your recruit."

As Veronica walks over to talk to Uriah, Max turns to me and starts talking a mile a minute.

"After the probationary 2 week period you will have an additional 2 months maximum to complete your training. You can wear whatever you want, but you will be training physically so find something you can move in. You will have tests with me once a week to check your progress. Eric will handle your physical training and will also be your supervisor. Harrison will handle the educational part of your training. If you fail to complete your training in 2 months you will be put in a different job, which you probably wont have a choice in. After you finish training, you will be given an office and a leader's apartment. You start at 7 am tomorrow morning and you will go to Eric's office. That is all."

When Max finishes, he turns and walks away. I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. I thank God for the Erudite apart of my brain which helped me keep up but my head is spinning with all this new information.

_What exactly did I just agree to?_


	4. Chapter 4

When I get back to out initiation dorms, I look around and take a deep breath. This is my last night here. I pull out a pair of black leggings with a small Dauntless flame logo on the hip and a pocket for points or communicators and a tight black tank top. After deliberating for a minute, I decide this is what I will wear to work tomorrow. Part of me wants to dress professionally, but I don't own any professional clothes and its hard to train in a pencil skirt. If they have a problem with how I'm dressed, then they will tell me and I will adjust accordingly. I pull out a shorts bra and a comfy pair of boy short style underwear and then begin packing everything else.

It doesn't take me long to pack- I don't really own much. I am glad that I decided to buy a good duffel bag a couple of days ago because now I can not only fit what I need for training in something, I have something to put all of my stuff in. I am so absorbed in packing that I don't notice someone walking in until I hear, "Tris."

I turn and see Christina standing behind me.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I was wondering...why did you pick leadership? Neither Will nor I saw that coming."

"Because, after the work I put in during initiation to pull myself up the rankings, I felt like I owed it to myself to try. And I've always been curious about the inner workings of the faction system. I figured it made sense. Why?"

"Well honestly, I never really saw you as a leader. If it wasn't for your times in the second half of training, you wouldn't even be here. I just don't understand."

I just sit there for a minute. I expected surprise, but not this level of disdain. I've never heard Christina's voice sound quite like this before.

"I don't know what you expect me to say." I respond, going back to packing.

"I want to know how you went from being one of the worst to one of the best. I want to know where the girl I met on the train went. She was weak and needed support and you...you are nothing like I remember you. How did you change who you are without me even noticing?"

By the end of her little speech, I've pretty much had it with her. Of course I was weak when I started out. And yeah, part of me always wondered if she befriended me so quickly because I was weak and needed someone to cling to and she needed someone to follow her. But I didn't expect this.

I quickly zip my bag and turn to face her.

"Christina, I never changed who I was. I have always been me and you only chose to see the weak part and the part that needed saving. If you cant accept the fact that I am stronger than you, or the fact that I'm gonna be a leader, then that's on you. Let me know when your ready to put those petty feelings aside."

With that, I take my duffle and my clothes for tomorrow and head out. I don't really know where im going. Wandering around Dauntless with everything I own until tomorrow when I get an apartment doesn't seem like a feasible plan, but neither does going back and dealing with judgement from people who have no right to judge me. Somehow I find myself at the Chasm, looking down at the water. I decide to sit and as I stare I think back on this Chasm. I feel this connection with it that I just can't explain. Even though this place place holds memories of Al and his bloated body being pulled up, it is also a place of rebirth. It's duality if being beautiful and dangerous is something I wish to identify with.

I don't know how long I sit there staring at the water before someone stands beside me and speaks.

"Hey, Tris." Uriah says.

I turn and grin, "Hey Uri. What are you doing out and about?"

"A couple of the other Dauntless-born initiates celebrated choosing their jobs and I went out with them for a while. Now I'm just heading back to the dorms. What are you doing out here?"

I sigh and turn back to the Chasm, "Christina and I had a fight. She doesn't think I'm Leadership material and wanted to know where the weak girl from Abnegation went. I just couldn't stand there and listen to it anymore. I expected it from Peter or someone else, but not from my best friend. I...I really don't wanna go back there right now. I know this is kinda like running away and I'm probably proving her right about me being weak, but I can't face her."

Uriah sits down and rubs my back, "I'm sorry Tris. Christina was wrong to say that to you. She has no right to. And you were never weak. You worked twise as hard as everyone to earn your place here. You're braver than any of them give you credit for. A weak person gives up. You never did."

I lean into him, "Thanks Uri. I'm really glad you stumbled across me sitting here."

"You're welcome. If you need me, I'm here. We are friends you know. We can even be," he lowers his voice and looks around all conspiratorial like, "best friends."

I laugh, "Yeah I think I'm in the market for one of those."

He laughs along with me and grbs my hand pulling me up with him as he stands, "Good thing your new best friend's dorm has lots of extra beds. Come on, you're bunking with the Dauntless-born tonight."

**Hey this is the writer with a quick message. Sorry it's been so long since my last update, but I was feeling weird and my writer's block was intense. I hope y'all like this new chapter and know I plan on trying to update at least once a week.**

**Have a great day!**


End file.
